Is this like your relationship?
Sunday, August 8th, 2010Women are NOT cars that break down and
need to be fixed. Women are more like flowers that
need to be showered with understanding and love.
What it means: Men and women do not approach
emotional upsets the same way.
Men go to a space by themselves and then figure out
a ’solution’.
While…
Women prefer to have someone listen, validate their feeling with
words AND emotions.
Example:
Tom forgets to grab the bread that Michelle asks
him to pick up on his way home.
Michelle has had a bad day, and barks at Tom
when he shows up without the bread.
Tom, thinking like a man, says he’ll go get the
bread after dinner and thinks that’ll be the end of Michelle’s
anger. (the FIX)
But…
During dinner he can still feel Michelle’s anger.
Tom returns the anger with anger and the
whole ‘bread situation’ explodes into WWIII
Now imagine…
If when Tom returned home…(he would’ve looked
deeper and realized this was about more than just
the bread)
Michelle: Where’s the bread?
Tom: Oh CRAP! I totally spaced it out!
Michelle: It figures. (angrily)
Tom: (Taking Michelle in his arms) I can’t
believe I forgot the bread. I’ve been so
forgetful lately.
Michelle: (cooling down) It’s okay. It’s
not a big deal.
Tom: No, it is a big deal. (cupping Michelle’s
face in his hands) I love you, you’re just
as busy as I am and I shouldn’t
forget such a small request.
Michelle: (big smile) Ooooh…I’ve just
had a bad day and felt totally unappreciated. I
shouldn’t be such a grump. You’re so sweet.
Tom: It’s okay…I was a bad boy…You
can punish me later after I get the bread.
What happened today?
Michelle: Mmmmm…(and she tells him
about her day.)
Now, I used ‘bread’ as a small example.
What’s important to understand is that you don’t
HAVE to solve every problem.
If your break up was over ‘money’…more than
likely…it wasn’t REALLY over ‘money’.
Anymore than the argument between Tom and
Michelle was about the bread.
More great advice on solving relationship problems